All of this happened a few weeks ago but things have been going too fast around here for me to get this posted. And I promise this all took place in one lunch I shared with the children.
Rewind: One of my sweet grandmothers has cancer...again. This time being in her 90s she has declared that she does not want any sort of aggressive treatment. I completely understand that and am thankful that she is prepared to step into eternity with her faith secure in Jesus. This however has meant that our family start praying for God's mercy in her life during all of this. The children knew she had been in the hospital with some other complications. Neal and I felt that we needed to have an honest conversation with them about her health. The first conversation was fast one evening at dinner with not much said other than she was really sick, she might die before Christmas and we needed to pray for her.
Well in typical fashion that lead to thinking which lead to questions...
Now here we are: There were some concerns expressed by the children about her dying during lunch. I told the children that she was going to die; that we all are at some point but we needed to be thankful that she would go to heaven. Instant relief hit their faces but Anna Grace asked how I knew for sure. I told them that Jesus lived in her heart and he was in charge of her life....la, la, la...Caleb asked some relevant yet uneventful question; I answered it. Anna Grace tried to interrupt I pressed on because I wanted to share the gospel with my children again. Dean continued to enjoy his meal. Anna Grace stopped me and said she already did that then finished the gospel in her own words. I agreed; all was well. At some point during the meal it was said, "You have to ask Jesus to come into your heart before you can go to heaven when you die." Dean, who had said nothing up to this point continued to stare down at his plate and eat as if he was a homeless child, says at the first silent moment: "Oh! Jesus come into my heart. Amen. Did that!" And he took another bite never looking up. I almost fell out of my seat! I quickly told him I did not think it worked quite like that you had to really mean it in your heart.
For some crazy reason, I foolishly thought going back to Anna Grace and whatever she wanted to talk about when she was trying to interrupt me had to be something more normal and maybe it was for a family like ours. "Mama, there is something I've got to ask you about it. I've been wondering, if Jesus lives inside my heart then what's going on with my attitude?!?" (I wish I could convey the amount of sassy attitude and frustration in her voice as well as her body language as she spoke.) I could continue our lunch discussion with poise no more; I erupted in laughter. Somewhere between our once somber and serious conversation turning into an at best half-hearted sinner's prayer followed by an enormously sassy attitude confession, laughter bubbled from my soul. Anna Grace even laughed when she realized how crazy she sounded. After a few minutes she told me that she did not know that she was supposed to be praying daily for the Holy Spirit to help her use self-control. She was hoping for full sanctification this side of heaven.
Through it all I could not help but think think that God had to be laughing too and sadly their actions funny and somehow appropriate for their age are but a glimpse of our sinful adult hearts wanting only short-cuts, easy roads and a checklist.
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